It's 3 am. i have already woken up. Sleep was evading me since then. For a moment, I tried to erase off the yesterday-close-to-midnight incident. I thought it wasn't even worth thinking about. I had to leave this place permanently(for ever)! After all this is not the place i wished for to be as my residence. Infact it would be last abode i would ever desire to choose.
Then what made be deeply upset? what was that bothing me non-stop?
I dont want to throw the entire blame upon my father for the situation I was put into. INfact, as my cousin bro pointed, I could be the sole reason for what ever i am facing.
The problem is not that I am dependent on my friends to stay, though the cause of my angst flow from the very same fact. The friends I mean The friends alone. I can barely issues with friends who provide me shelter but i could not stand to accept the uninvited and uncessary imposition of self-claimed authority-like over me by people who were no were connected to me except to the extent that they control the lives of my frineds in one sence or the other. I dont mean that the people whom i refer here are bosses of my friends but they are not meant to be opposed in their decision so easily by my friends.
So i packed my bag, as the sun set to rise, and left leaving my travel bag which i think i will take it in a day or two.
The incident - I expressed to the people not to dictate me. nothing else.
Fortunately or unfortunately my dad called this morning. I had to pass on all the anger, frustration, rage, my father who turned speechless despite having been hurled up with many of my such acts.
I dint care if my cousing bro was with us but I had to for i was too afraid of missing the oppurtunity of securing a good accomodation which was promised by one Guy, possibly a broker.
My father took it too slow. The guy wanted us to meet him int he morning but i was in court thinking my father and bro willtake care. But had to rush to Kalaivanar arangam to go myself to meet the broker with my bro after i was told that my father never met my bro who had come all the way to the arangam to pick my dad and mainly for the sake of me.
When i reached the arangam i was given shock to see my dad chatting with my bro. Had I known that or alteast assured confirminly i would not have delegated my work which was as important for a man who is in jail wants to come out and went all the way to arangam to my bro.
All this pissed me off , so i vent all my frusration and anger my fathr like i never did before possibly.
It continued for long and even after we went there to ANna nagar where we were informed by the broker that he cant meet us today due to his other personal engangement and asked us to meet him the next day.
I burst again at my father and criticised him and blamed him for the failur n the plan. i was not much convinved by my father when he told me that we would meet him the next day
after a long hour of verbal assault i showed no mercy even at the time when we coming back together on our way back to our room
we went to arangam before we came to our place and had dinner in Nair's mess and then my father left to the hotel alone and i came here to this net-cafe to type this and record it down.
I infact despite all felt like i would go with me dad for a walk by the beach as we both have done along with my mon and sis as a family for many many years back when i would not even finished 5th grade
But father seemed a little tired and at his age, it is quite understandable, though he is someone with unbelievable stamina and energitic chap.
However the epic was when I told my dad, when we were sitting arangam, this late evening, that he was sole cause for me to hurl such abuses,
He responded, "Your are my son and if not you than from whom else i would take such things?" I went speechless.
Then what made be deeply upset? what was that bothing me non-stop?
I dont want to throw the entire blame upon my father for the situation I was put into. INfact, as my cousin bro pointed, I could be the sole reason for what ever i am facing.
The problem is not that I am dependent on my friends to stay, though the cause of my angst flow from the very same fact. The friends I mean The friends alone. I can barely issues with friends who provide me shelter but i could not stand to accept the uninvited and uncessary imposition of self-claimed authority-like over me by people who were no were connected to me except to the extent that they control the lives of my frineds in one sence or the other. I dont mean that the people whom i refer here are bosses of my friends but they are not meant to be opposed in their decision so easily by my friends.
So i packed my bag, as the sun set to rise, and left leaving my travel bag which i think i will take it in a day or two.
The incident - I expressed to the people not to dictate me. nothing else.
Fortunately or unfortunately my dad called this morning. I had to pass on all the anger, frustration, rage, my father who turned speechless despite having been hurled up with many of my such acts.
I dint care if my cousing bro was with us but I had to for i was too afraid of missing the oppurtunity of securing a good accomodation which was promised by one Guy, possibly a broker.
My father took it too slow. The guy wanted us to meet him int he morning but i was in court thinking my father and bro willtake care. But had to rush to Kalaivanar arangam to go myself to meet the broker with my bro after i was told that my father never met my bro who had come all the way to the arangam to pick my dad and mainly for the sake of me.
When i reached the arangam i was given shock to see my dad chatting with my bro. Had I known that or alteast assured confirminly i would not have delegated my work which was as important for a man who is in jail wants to come out and went all the way to arangam to my bro.
All this pissed me off , so i vent all my frusration and anger my fathr like i never did before possibly.
It continued for long and even after we went there to ANna nagar where we were informed by the broker that he cant meet us today due to his other personal engangement and asked us to meet him the next day.
I burst again at my father and criticised him and blamed him for the failur n the plan. i was not much convinved by my father when he told me that we would meet him the next day
after a long hour of verbal assault i showed no mercy even at the time when we coming back together on our way back to our room
we went to arangam before we came to our place and had dinner in Nair's mess and then my father left to the hotel alone and i came here to this net-cafe to type this and record it down.
I infact despite all felt like i would go with me dad for a walk by the beach as we both have done along with my mon and sis as a family for many many years back when i would not even finished 5th grade
But father seemed a little tired and at his age, it is quite understandable, though he is someone with unbelievable stamina and energitic chap.
However the epic was when I told my dad, when we were sitting arangam, this late evening, that he was sole cause for me to hurl such abuses,
He responded, "Your are my son and if not you than from whom else i would take such things?" I went speechless.
