Pretty Christmas Bless

Why I din’t visit the Church at Anna nagar today

Why I dint even remember today it was Chrsitmas when I was passing by the church at Anna nagar

Why the gates of the Church at Egmore should be closed when Bro took me there at first or

Why Bro even decided to visit church and take me in particular along with him in the first place

Why it has to happen on the eve of Christmas, the day when the holy spirit enters in to world full of sin to cure and remove all within its strength

like the same why it all should happen in a matter of seconds, why just right in front of me

why bend the forehead backward right towards my face and then invite me to communion

why it should it be today after all these years through you I had to get the blessings of assurance in this way

and why you after taking me with you till I you blessed me upon and take me around just leave me back and just disappear or closed all my avenues to reach you further

is this your plot

I could have made my further usual moves to physically reach you but I felt you are very much there with me and have been guiding me every since I knew you

And still I haven’t lost faith in you and I hope and pray so that I don’t divert my attention from the path you have shown from this beautiful yet a little sad moment and unforgetful life.

You know I always love you Lord Jesus

While on the drive, I adjusted the windscreen a bit and just did the cross and din’t even stop to pray , let alone going inoto the church and attend the session.

Met Venktatesh sir in my room and we both decided to visit a church at his instance.

At first we went to a church which was located on the way to Egmore but it was closed so we decided to visit the santhom churh.

We chose a nice place and made ourselves comfort and as we began to pray and closed my eyes I could hear the song of love being played outside the church hall and it touched the deepest muscle in my heart and at the same time I saw her coming dressed up in white completely; as she approached us, I wanted to feel her close and so it happened. She came along with two of her friends and she occupied the place which was right in front of me and it was a perfect timing when she was reaching the place I, who was till then praying kneeling, assumed my initial mode, i.e. came back to my seat. Her head was now in the place where my hands were holding bible and from there if I had looked down I could have seen her hairline clearly and if I moved my head a little forward, her forehead too. I still refused to completely recline back. So I was sitting in a position leaning towards her and I should admit the shampoo she was too strict to give off the mild aroma I felt I could keeping breathing in forever.

I wanted to talk to this woman. So desparately but I am too nervous to even talk to her friends she had come along with. I liked this feeling nevertheless. This is a very rare kind of feeling and I felt I am gifted to realise I still do have the natural inclination to like a woman from my depth of my heart for I still do believe I can never fall in love with a woman for reasons which I am not interested in disclosing . With a little bit of courage and shying away my shyness and a good support from fren who has come with me, I decided to initiate the beautiful musings of words which were exchanged between us. At first she never responded to what I asked her and she just gave a look back at me and then at her friends [probably she expected her acknowledgment to speak I guess] and thankfully one of her friends started reciprocating. then there was a short break till I was nodded by my friend to continue it again. Then I broke the ice for the second time and this time the exchange of meaningless yet sensible words conversation lasted for quite sometime. I enjoyed each and every of her reaction or move. It was extremely cute. I felt two eyes weren’t enough to enjoy watching it. At the same time I was feeling nervous and afraid that this moment of my life might end too like a episode. As she left to attend communion, I thought she was leaving and I said ‘merry christmas’ for which she said ‘come attend communion’.

Oh that’s it1. Bro got super duber excited then I was. Infact I went still and I dint even know what to do and asked one of her friends where to attend communion and where she[ her] was calling me. Fortunately the friend of her assumed I was joking and asked me jovialy if was RC. I told yes without even realizing what that was too/ then she told me not to kid around and join the communion and all of them started walking towards a certain direction. I just followed them without know where was going

There I realized I was offered the blessing of holy spirit and I was two people behind her when I received that blessing of holy spirit and signaled her if she had received too and she said ‘yes’ and her friend told the same. Then after we came inside the church hall. The least I should have done was to ask what her name was but I dint nor where she live or where she study, forget what how would I contact her which is way beyond reach when I progressed at this speed.

I should have atleast spoke well with her friend who seemed like was as if she was interested in getting my phone number but stupidly I felt too rather not too serious to talk to her even.

Something was telling me I should not pursue and I should just take it as way shown to start a new life. Infact I found it weird my mobile showed it as out of balance due to some network problem thought there was sufficient balance which I came to know only the next day and not knowing this I could not even call my bro or else I could have atleast I could have taken my car and went along with her and located where she lives nor I felt like noting her car number

All these were pointed out as big drawback in me by Bro and he kept repeating it the whole night till we went to sleep and said how I ought not to have let a woman who did like me but let her down by not living up to her expectation by not taking up the chances she give

Anyway that night soon after she left we both we went to buy some candles and as the bell went ringing we can lighting the candles to the Holy LORD Jesus Christ, the Only Son.

Amen